Happy New Years/ Thump...Not Slump

HAPPY NEW YEARS EVERYONE!!! I am soo happy it's a new year...but I didn't want to bring it in like this: single, broke and un-happy.. I broke up with my boyfriend...I don't want to keep writing about being sad, depressed, and all that!! This is suppose to be a happy blog, about living life...well an insite to my life and me!! Well, this is my life I guess, I just have bad luck with guys, and my life is always fiiled with drama...and I'm so prone to it that I'm numb to what happens to me everyday..I was ok..with the break-up cause I knew it was coming but..after awhile, well actually like 45 mins ago..I had a relapse..and I felt like a heroin addict who wants to get help and go to rehab but..when you havn't had your next "hit" after some hours you go into that withdrawl..and you sweat..vomit and all that! I wanted to call him...I needed to call him so that he could tell me where we stand but he ignored all my phone calls...I just wanted a simple "it's over"..Am I acting desperate?? Like, he is the only guy that I could ever have? Oh well..I don't know!!

Closed Mouths Starve

So.. I have a boyfriend and we are always breaking up because I am a compulsive liar.I am always lying to hime about stuipid things, well..like how many guys I have slept wth in the past and things like that, which I don't think are important but he does..I don't know why I keep lying to him..I think I have a problem, I want to tell him the truth but..I think if I do then we are going to be done for good and I really don't want to..he takes me back time after time after time but..I just be soo scared to talk to him and he's really easy to talk to. We get along soo good, we are best friends( but how do you lie to your best-friend?)...the sex is GREAT!! But( sighs..) I have a real problem...Why do I lie?